A meltdown is an autistic natural reaction when we get overwhelmed in all our senses. Mostly due to others, as we absorb other people’s (or social) emotions that we don’t understand, or due to the excess of sensitive stimulation: noise, smell, light, etc.
If you’re a NeuroTypical, for you to understand better: if we go to a restaurant, we hear the conversation in our table, the conversations of the other tables, the noise in the kitchen, the music, the traffic outside, the waiters, etc all on the same volume all at once. Plus, that annoying flickering light, smells from different dishes, etc. It’s overwhelming.
But an autistic meltdown can bring two different reactions: either a Shutdown or a Breakdown.
A Shutdown is like meditation: you’ll hide in a darker corner where you feel safe, away from sensory issues. A corner without smells, or with a specific smell that makes us comfortable and safe (like a specific incense that can calm you down). No lights, no smells, no noise. In a shutdown you try to find silence in your mind, go blank, so we can re-energize ourselves. So we can find inner peace again. So we can feel safe within ourselves.
A breakdown is the opposite reaction: the autistic person can experience some aggressive mood, including hurting themselves, hitting with their hands on their face, biting, etc. This is when they fight against themselves.
When this happens, there’s even more energy waste, and it can be quite aggressive, so after the breakdown that can last for a few days, the days afterwards the autistic person can feel extremely tired in a state of total surrender, because they wasted all their energy during the breakdown. If you’re a NT dealing with an autistic person having a breakdown, guide them to a comfort safe zone… just don’t add wood to the fire. Don’t question, don’t touch, just give them a blanket.
If you have an emotional connection with the autistic person, try to have emotional distance to not interfere with the process. It’s difficult, I know. But when you’re worried, and have deep emotional connection (as parent, partner, etc), remember that we often absorb all others’ feelings, so by being worried, we’ll get that stress over the already hard to manage meltdown. When you think of an autistic person, just send them peace. Do yourself a meditation to send us love and silence. And that is what we absorb.
or just make yourself present but not interfering. We know that you’re there keeping the door safe from outside. We’ll ask you if we need anything.
And once in a while you can just gently remind us to take a deep breath.
Feel free to contact me by email in case you need to go deeper in this, and meanwhile if you want to book the sessions, here is where you can read about it.
You can also contact me if you want to participate in the Shamanic Mentoring Course.
Love,
Gon
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Thanks for this intimate look at meltdowns Gon. I’ve lost count of mine over the years, but COVID made living conditions worse, and my coping skills less effective. I’ve had some messy meltdowns, mostly in lineups in: hospitals, liquor stores, and even Home Depot, where we are often disrespected. Institutions and corporations that fail to respect us, and treat us humanely for the sake of corporate profit and convenience, need to wake up, and revise those policies, in order to serve us more honestly and humanely [compassionately?].
Example: The Ontario Ministry of Health [MOH] refuses to identify buildings where there has been an outbreak of COVID, to warn people to stay away, or use respiratory protection when entering. The MOH justifies this absurd, high-risk refusal “to post a contaminated building”, which puts everyone who enters it at risk of becoming infected with the airborne virus, by claiming to protect the “medical privacy or confidentiality” of our communities! What BS! That MOH delusion of protecting our medical confidentiality is completely busted when we line up at the entrances to hospitals, institutions, and retail stores, where we are forced to disclose before the public [strangers asking us personal questions, and more strangers in the line up listening], about our private travels, and all of our medical symptoms and conditions! This is the kind of incongruous mental chaos that triggers my meltdowns.
Extremely useful advice. I will most definitely follow your wise advice. The phrase “keeping the door safe from the putside” will stay with me. Thank you.